he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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