Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
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Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
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I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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