well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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