I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
