my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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