got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
