Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
