Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
