Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
