Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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