I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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