Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
