Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
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He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize