also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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