Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
don't judge my taste in strippers
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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