one two three fourrrrnication!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
