I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
