she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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