It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Mom said you looked used
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
