it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
