so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
