Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
