i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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