Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
