Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
