i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Bring me that man meat
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
