just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude i'm inner monologue high
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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