i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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