Don't you send me to vm
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
