Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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