hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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