My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
