I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
