everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
