doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
