The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
