She said her name was "party"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize