I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
