He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Sober January is a disaster.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
