Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
