stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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