Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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