I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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