wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
is that a dick in a sweater?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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