I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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