Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Holy sore nipples Batman
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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