I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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