Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
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I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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