Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
