on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
