i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sober January is a disaster.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
