I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I look better un-naked...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
