Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so much tequila, so little girl.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
