youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
