bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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