just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So vagazzling was a success
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
