Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
