dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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