i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
