Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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