My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
