Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
