look no pants
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
