My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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