Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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