i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
