there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
