Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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