then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
