Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I touched a dick in church today
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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