I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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