when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
